Thursday, October 31, 2013 12:00 am

October

listen, ♥

Wednesday, October 30, 2013 10:16 pm

Dejected

listen, ♥Sometimes, I feel as though my feelings are not reciprocated by the people around me and that time and again, I just feel that I am being made use of just because I'm willing to give in from time to time. I feel so dejected and unfairly treated, yet there's nothing much I can do to salvage the situation that I'm stuck in.

I mean, I put in so much effort into each and every relationship I share with others - my friends, whoever they are, my family because they deserve the best I can give and the people around me. But time and again, I just feel that people are making use of me, they're just there for the sake of being around or they're just obliged to stick around.

Yes, there's no doubt that I am rude towards the people that I dislike, there's no doubt to that. I can attest that for myself. But the people that I give my all to - my time, my effort, my everything - they seem so distant from me.

Maybe it's just me being all sensitive, maybe it's the flu bug that's eating my soul. But I feel so insecure, and it's killing me. I feel so upset that I don't ever want a new day to come.

I'm just tired, too tired of everything that's happening. Too tired to bother, too tired of being taken for granted, too tired for anything.

Saturday, October 19, 2013 10:04 pm

Complains

listen, ♥My world's still as noisy and screwed up as ever, I'm so sick and tired of everything, really. Honestly, with all my heart, I feel like crying but tears won't fall. I feel like dying but it's just stupid to be thinking that way. Urgh, stupid damn life.

And, please. If your aim is just to whine, I'm not here to listen. I'm too tired of listening to others when no one hears me. I'm drowned with the voices of others' that I cannot hear myself sometimes. If you're not going to listen to my advice, then don't bother telling me anything cause you're only waiting my time and effort, having to think about what to say only for you to reject this, that and every other thing.

#fml

Friday, October 18, 2013 3:01 am

Noisy

listen, ♥My world's getting a little noisier with every breath I take and it's killing me inside. No, I cannot read minds, its not the whispers that I hear from time to time, but the sound of other people's voice penetrating through. It's not funny, its not cool, it's pissing me off so badly.

I'm trying to earn my own keep, to live within means, to strive for the best. I'm trying to be the best that I can ever be, but time and I again, I feel as though I'm being put down, pressed, compressed and what not. I feel so small and my shoulders are so tired from all the burden that I have to carry as an individual.

I'm only human. I have feelings just like anyone, even if I don't express myself at all. I breathe, I hear, I feel, I'm only human. I bleed, I hurt, I ponder, I know, I'm only human.

The voices that I hear, whether its physical, or just a text, is weighing me down. I feel all choked up inside. I just want to live life my own way, why is it so difficult to do so? I just want to have a good rest and sleep in from time to time, why can I never have such luxury?

I'm so tired of my perceived world, the voices that goes through my head, the text messages that never fail to frustrate me, but yet I have to reply from time to time. I'm so sick and tired of everything, of life, of all the things I have on my plate.

It's just so frustrating to not be able to think, when your thoughts don't flow when there's a need for you to be completing your assignment. I'm just so sick and tired of giving my best and not getting anything out of it. I'm so sick of the same idiotic responses I get time after time, I'm tired of the things people tell me from day to day.

I know, I really do. I know I'm a total idiot at times, but I still try, to be there for others, to do my best, to be happy despite a bad day, to be grateful for the things that comes my way, and so on.

I'm just so tired of everything right now. I can't be bothered about any damn thing in my life. I just want to stay at home all day and rot the whole day, doing nothing, being stupid, whining about the little things in life.

Oh, the little things we seek in life. Seems ever so simple, yet unattainable.

Thursday, October 17, 2013 12:55 pm

Feelings

listen, ♥Humans are so superficial. We know how we feel about certain things, we know we can change a little in order to make a big difference, but we just don't do so. Why? Because it takes more time and effort and no one wants to waste their time and effort on something that they do not think is worthwhile. Selfish, maybe?

Most of the times, we create our own problems - not being able to have enough sleep because we didn't prioritise our time enough, not being able to attend a concert cause we didn't save enough money in time, not being happy because we feel as though we're the most hopeless or worthless person when there are people who are worse off, and the list goes on.

I don't know why I'm even preaching about these kind of stuff when I live my life this way. I feel as though I've been so blinded by everything because I don't really want to care about anything that happens. I'm so tired of caring so much only to be put down by excuses, it's just not worth it! Why should I try so hard and put in so much effort when no one appreciates it at the end of the day? It's too tiring to care, it's too tiring to bother, it's too tiring to be there.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:11 pm

Sunshine

listen, ♥

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 9:30 pm

Sky

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Sunday, October 13, 2013 5:00 pm

Celebrate

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4:18 pm

thought

listen, ♥Thought Catalog is giving me countless inspirations for posting in the blog, and it's just amazing how some sentences just tug at the heartstring and makes me think like there's no tomorrow.

'We bleed from inside but still don't know how we feel' - Neha Kashyap

These words somehow made perfect sense when I see things from different perspectives.

Tuesday, October 08, 2013 10:35 pm

Words

listen, ♥"Have we got to a stage whereby we forgot how to be satisfied?" - Low Kay Hwa

These words, hit hard.

It's amazing how people can tug at your heartstring with a mere sentence, word, expression.

While I look back and ponder about all that is happening throughout my life, I begin to reflect and think that, maybe, just maybe, I should be thankful. For all that I have. Some people look upon my failure as their driving force, motivation and success while I deem myself the biggest loser in the world.

Maybe I should rethink and re-evaluate the way I see things, the way I feel, the way I'm progressing through life. It's not easy, come on, to even try to breath sometimes. At times it even hurts to even think about having to go through all the pain time and again, but then, who has the very rights to dictate right from wrong and how often do we really sit down to think about all the various possibilities that might come our way?

Life, it just has its way with you. And today, as I approach dreamland after completing an oh-so-boring reading, I pray for the strength to carry on, the wisdom to learn and the opportunity to prove my worth.

x,

Wednesday, October 02, 2013 11:32 pm

Turbo

listen, ♥

Tuesday, October 01, 2013 10:18 pm

2 minutes

listen, ♥"The 2 minute rules isn't about the results you achieve, but rather about the process of actually doing the work. The focus is on taking action and letting things flow from there.

The most important part of any new habit is getting started - not just the first time, but each time. It's not about the performance, its about consistently taking action." - James Clear